TodaysBullshit Today's Bullshit
Einstein's definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. Kerry Wood signs 1-yr deal with the Cubs.
Jesus_M_Christ Jesus Christ
Michael Vick wants to own a dog someday. Sure, that'll happen as soon as I invite Judas over for dinner again.
StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
Only 9 days left to fortify your homes against the Grinch. He must not get his hands on our roast beast!
BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
IDEA: Someone should make a movie or TV show that Mark Wahlberg's not involved in.
michaelianblack Michael Ian Black
The doctor said my hernia is in my "super-pubis region." I told her my whole pubis region is super. She did not laugh.
BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
Julian Assange has a plea deal - he has agreed to work for the TSA during the holidays.
BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
Goldman's top trader, Morgan Sze, is quitting. Mr. Sze said he wanted to pursue a new career as a Scrabble word.
BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon having twins, according to Who Gives a Flying Fuck Magazine
BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
Defense Dept. Upgrades Afghanistan from Quagmire to Morass
BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
Why are we spending billions of dollars a year on the CIA when WikiLeaks is free?
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