kellyoxford kelly oxford
I don't trust anyone who walks into a Denny's while sober.
HomerJSimpson Homer J. Simpson
You know who doesn’t get a lot of credit? Marge Simpson. And who doesn’t she get a lot of credit from? Her entire family.
BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
Obama Changes Slogan from YES WE CAN to MAY I PLEASE
Jesus_M_Christ Jesus Christ
It’s true December 25th isn’t my real birthday. It was just the birth date on my fake ID.
BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
This weekend it's a tossup between seeing Yogi Bear and hanging myself.
S_SylvesterGLEE Sue Sylvester
Suing the mall for height discrimination. If they think I’m too intimidating to be a Christmas elf, wait till they see me intimidate a jury.
Jesus_M_Christ Jesus Christ
Christmas: The one time of year the Catholic Church is allowed to focus on a little boy.
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