Friday, December 17, 2010

Funny Twitter Posts from 12/17/10

kelly oxford
I don't trust anyone who walks into a Denny's while sober.

Homer J. Simpson
You know who doesn’t get a lot of credit? Marge Simpson. And who doesn’t she get a lot of credit from? Her entire family.

Andy Borowitz
Obama Changes Slogan from YES WE CAN to MAY I PLEASE

Jesus Christ
It’s true December 25th isn’t my real birthday. It was just the birth date on my fake ID.

Andy Borowitz
This weekend it's a tossup between seeing Yogi Bear and hanging myself.

Sue Sylvester
Suing the mall for height discrimination. If they think I’m too intimidating to be a Christmas elf, wait till they see me intimidate a jury.

Jesus Christ
Christmas: The one time of year the Catholic Church is allowed to focus on a little boy.

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